i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
