I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
