is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
