Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
