dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize