I heard we made out
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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