What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
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