New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize