I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.