"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.