Texts From Last Night

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  (224): View more from Illinois

  it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.

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  (224): it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday. http://tfl.nu/m5qz
  Replies (11) Good night (630) Bad night (2557) Order T-Shirt
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  (352): View more from Florida

  You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.

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  (352): You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem. http://tfl.nu/rwe9
  Replies (12) Good night (4904) Bad night (540) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.

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  (214): A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot. http://tfl.nu/a1lj
  Replies (65) Good night (27833) Bad night (1803) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.

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  (530): Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering. http://tfl.nu/vhlw
  Replies (7) Good night (3852) Bad night (826) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I wish his dick was as long as his hair.

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  (617): I wish his dick was as long as his hair. http://tfl.nu/x3k7
  Replies (13) Good night (950) Bad night (6667) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.

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  (785): There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill. http://tfl.nu/tym2
  Replies (10) Good night (2720) Bad night (876) Order T-Shirt
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  (909): View more from California

  If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?

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  (909): If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night? http://tfl.nu/ont9
  Replies (14) Good night (925) Bad night (4099) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.

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  (270): Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house. http://tfl.nu/zb8n
  Replies (8) Good night (2374) Bad night (956) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.

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  (949): You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic. http://tfl.nu/5o2h
  Replies (8) Good night (2357) Bad night (629) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate

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  (360): Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate http://tfl.nu/9xzc
  Replies (6) Good night (1466) Bad night (497) Order T-Shirt
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  (+82): View more from South Korea

  I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.

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  (+82): I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea. http://tfl.nu/vo0h
  Replies (13) Good night (1905) Bad night (523) Order T-Shirt
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.

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  (260): Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given. http://tfl.nu/4cnf
  Replies (9) Good night (1728) Bad night (341) Order T-Shirt
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  (469): View more from Texas

  He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...

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  (469): He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face... http://tfl.nu/7dsy
  Replies (6) Good night (1341) Bad night (627)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.

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  (616): Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries? (1-616): I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex. http://tfl.nu/oahp
  Replies (5) Good night (828) Bad night (188)
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  (+81): View more from

  On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows

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  (+81): On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows http://tfl.nu/nqax
  Replies (1) Good night (434) Bad night (183) Order T-Shirt

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