hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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