remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?