My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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