i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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