Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
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