At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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