Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
