I wish I could teleport
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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