Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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