how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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