I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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