I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
