We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
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Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
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It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together