I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.