so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
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I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
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I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.