Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize