We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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