Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize