Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Success! We fucked roommates!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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