When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
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One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
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Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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