Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
A bitchslap is in order.
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