stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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