Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
