Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
