A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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