How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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