no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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