i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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