Soap is not a condiment
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
