Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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