This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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