Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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