Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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