fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
