But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
