she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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