i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
