Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize