I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
it glows. i had to have it.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
