NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
