Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Randomize