Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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