Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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