We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
