Don't you send me to vm
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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