Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
