do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
