This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
