Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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